Are you married to an emotionally detached husband?
So, you’re married to an emotionally detached man who doesn’t care about your feelings or needs. He may even be abusive.
It’s been going on for years and you’re tired of hoping he will change. You are ready to learn the truth.
Could he be dealing with emotional attachment issues? Could he be a narcissist? Is this related to his attachment style, and what does all of this have to do with how he grew up?
Let’s examine the possibilities.
Are you feeling emotionally detached from your husband?
It might be hard to see if you’re in the thick of it. Is your husband emotionally distant? Does he seem to care less about your feelings than he used to? Do you feel neglected by him? Narcissists often use emotional detachment to control others. They may also be abusive.
What does it mean to be emotionally detached?
Most people say that being emotionally detached means that someone is just not showing their emotions. But that’s not the whole story.
Being emotionally detached in a relationship is more about having difficulty feeling emotion and connecting with others.
Some experts think that emotional detachment is a symptom of trauma, while others believe it’s simply a coping mechanism that can lead to other problems.
Why do men become emotionally detached?
If you’re married to an emotionally detached husband, there are several reasons this may be happening. He may be unaware of his behavior, or he may be abusive, so it’s important to discuss your feelings with him and figure out a solution.
Most likely, if your husband is emotionally detached and he’s actively making your life feel uncomfortable or miserable, or even if he’s overly controlling, he may have learned to be that way from his parents or other childhood influences.
Another possibility is that at some point in his childhood, your husband experienced some sort of trauma that left him feeling like he couldn’t control anything, so he controls what he can to feel better.
What does it mean to be emotionally unavailable?
When you’re dating someone who is emotionally unavailable, you might feel like your needs are never going to be met. You might feel like they’re not fully present in your relationship and that they don’t care about what you have to say.
The truth is that emotional unavailability isn’t about how much someone cares about you—it’s about the fact that they don’t know how to put their feelings into words or actions. They may not even be aware of how their behavior affects others, so it’s important for them to work on themselves before they can form healthy relationships with other people.
Emotional disconnection & detaching from a relationship
If you’re dealing with emotional abandonment by your husband, you’re probably also struggling with feelings of detachment yourself. You might be wondering if it’s time to start thinking about detaching from this relationship. Keep reading to learn about the signs of emotional detachment in marriage.
10 Signs of Emotional Detachment in Marriage
An emotionally detached husband may seem cold and distant, but he could also be suffering from emotional detachment disorder.
If you notice any of these signs, it might mean your partner isn’t being honest with you. It could also indicate that he has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). NPD is characterized by a lack of empathy, selfishness, and a sense of entitlement.
Here’s how to tell if he’s emotionally unavailable.
He Won’t Connect With You or Your Kids.
If he’s dealing with emotional detachment, you should know that this condition causes him to feel disconnected from his wife and children, and unable to express affection for others.
He Doesn’t Listen To You.
It’s normal for men to feel uncomfortable when women talk about their feelings. Men often find emotional conversations difficult because they don’t understand what women mean by certain words. They may think that women are being overly dramatic or irrational.
If your partner seems indifferent to your emotions, he might not be able to show empathy toward you. He may also avoid talking about his own feelings, and may even deny having any.
However, if he’s a narcissist, it might feel a little different. A narcissist will often ignore what you say because he thinks his opinion matters more than yours. He may not listen to you at all unless you agree with him.
He gives you the silent treatment.
The silent treatment is actually a form of abuse. While it’s very common for narcissists to use the silent treatment to punish you, other people will also use it for various reasons.
He’s critical of everything you say or do.
Any husband might become overly critical of you when things are tense in your marriage, but a narcissistic husband is going to be painfully and cruelly critical. He will show zero empathy, especially when he’s feeling angry or agitated.
An emotionally detached man shows a lack of interest in romance and affection, which can be very hurtful. He may not want you to get close to him and may pull away when you try to do so.
He Doesn’t Show Affection.
If he doesn’t show affection, then he won’t make an effort to comfort you when you’re upset, instead turning away and pretending not to see you or even complaining about your show of emotion. He might not hug you or kiss you. He might also ignore your attempts at intimacy.
He Doesn’t Care About Your Feelings.
If your partner seems to have little regard for your feelings or opinions, he might be a narcissist. Narcissists are self-centered and selfish. They may also lack empathy and compassion.
Narcissists are self-centered people who think only about themselves. They believe they are superior to others and expect everyone else to cater to them. They are usually very charming and charismatic when they first meet you, but as soon as they feel threatened by you, they become cold and distant.
He Doesn’t Respect Your Needs.
It’s normal to feel hurt by a partner’s lack of attention. However, if your husband ignores your emotional needs, it could indicate that he has some serious issues with his own emotions. This type of behavior could be a sign of abuse – narcissistic abusers are infamous for refusing to even acknowledge that you have feelings, much less care about them.
If your husband doesn’t respect your needs, it might mean that he isn’t capable of feeling empathy toward others. Instead, he focuses on himself and what he wants. In fact, he may not even realize how much he hurts you.
He doesn’t have time for you.
Many emotionally unavailable men will make themselves otherwise unavailable, mostly because they’d prefer to avoid conflict and any overwhelming emotions. Narcissists will have
Narcissists often feel entitled to special treatment because they believe they deserve it. They may not show much interest in what others think of them, and they tend to focus on themselves rather than other people.
Start Getting Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Today
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- Get private, one-on-one narcissistic abuse recovery coaching or counseling.
- Get a therapist who will work with you online. Check out our guide to finding a therapist or psychologist who understands narcissism and narcissistic abuse.
*Disclaimer – Please note: First and foremost, If you think you may be experiencing these symptoms, you should see a doctor. The last thing anyone wants is to end up misdiagnosed and treated for something that’s not impacting their health. ALWAYS be sure to check in with a doctor first, do your research, and talk to other people before making any decisions about your treatment options.